Knees and Traffic

It has been a challenging week but ended well.  A week and a half ago my knee started acting up- kind of a lot and not relenting. It even hurt the first 800 yards of swimming. Then on Friday while riding my bike home in rush hour I get swiped on the shoulder by a blue SUV and the one behind it kept going following the blue one despite my yelling out at them. Had I put my elbow out the second one would have struck me. Fortunately, I did not go down, get hurt or damage my bike. It just scared the daylights out of me and gave me a megadose of reality.  I have come close many times but never have I come in contact with a vehicle. I don’t know how I did NOT crash. There was no room on the road and I was pushed over headed straight for the big crack in the road where my wheel would theoretically get stuck and I either go down hitting the curb or into traffic. I’m so thankful because that would have been really bad. I’m thankful that I was fine - only angry and anxious afterwards. My shoulder was sore but it was before and it is fine. 

I tried to chase the car down but lost it. I stopped and needed to get my head together. I didn’t want to continue riding. James was too far away and I didn’t want to wait there. So I got back on and continued. It was fine, traffic was lighter and I had a bike lane the rest of the ride.

When I turned onto Palomar Airport Rd I was getting anxious. I think maybe I will stop at Bressi Ranch and wait for a ride there. I can relax and drink a tea at Peets. 

NO!

I need to be strong and finish.

I can’t let that clueless driver interfere with my ride.

Other cars seemed random, swerving and speeding even on Palomar Airport Rd. Moreso than usual. Is the moon full? Am I hypersensitive? No – actually that car just changed lanes back and forth with no room to do so.  Other cars are honking at it.  Another car’s tires start to cross my bike lane line. The bike lane is between the right turn lane and the main road on my left. I am freaking out. I can’t swerve to the right because there are always cars coming in that lane. I slow down and breathe and try not to throw up. That car passes. Then a loud motorcycle passes me. I HATE the sound of motorcycles accelerating and passing me. It is worse than nails on a chalkboard and freaks me out. Always has.  That was it.

I.  Am.   Done!!!

And I happen to be at the turn for Peets. Nice. I admit defeat and look forward to a soothing warm chai because inside I am going absolutely ballistic and that’s as close to a warm fuzzy I can get right now. Once I settle down that evening I get anxious again thinking about the reality of the situation. I know I put myself at risk every time I ride. I know many people who have been hit. I know friends who had friends who have been killed. I am a mom, wife, sister, friend and someone’s care provider.  The actual reality sets in for real. That night I dream of cars, traffic and bikes. I have long bike ride scheduled the next day. I don’t know. Maybe the trainer instead. Maybe the trainer for a while. I went with my friend the next day and we kept it easy and shorter. It was scary at first getting back on the road but it was better. Cars were mellow. They usually are most of the time. One is a little too close to my bike lane line but I am able to move and it wasn’t coming any closer. I rode closer to the right. I felt good at the end of the ride. I will avoid riding home on Fridays and will avoid that particular block.

For my cyclist friends, it was on El Camino Real southbound between Tamarack and Kelly in Carlsbad. It is a small block with absolutely no room. Cars usually wait for me and pass me after Kelly. Friday was unusual. These cars saw me and should have never attempted this. We all came off of a stop light and I was in front of them and moved as far over as I could.

For my driving friends, please be mindful of cyclists. I know we can be annoying to cars but we do share the road with you. We have families. We are people too. And try not to get so close to us. While I am sure you have control of your car, it is scary for us. California law says to give us 3 feet. Motorcyclists- please don’t accelerate right next to me. I will have a tantrum.

Then there is the knee. It is hard to know when to ignore the pain or pay close attention to it during training. I don’t want to be overly focused on it yet I need to really nurture my knee to get to the starting line at IMAZ. It usually flares up once a month or so. I take a few days off, ice and take a lot of Ibuprofen. Usually I know what started it. Often it is something I did- like run on pavement or kneel on a paddleboard. This time I could not pinpoint what I did. Usually it goes away. It  stuck around slowly getting better but never going away.  I tried my long run last week after a few days of treating it and it was hard. I ended up walking which was also unpleasant on the knee and knowing exactly where that fine line is between continuing to push through it and stop altogether. Time to stop. Was this the end of running as I have known it this season? I have always felt blessed every single time I ran because it was a bonus. I also understood that there could come a time where I have to pull back and not run for an indefinite amount of time so I can get to the start. I also understood that I may walk the marathon at Ironman. Over the week the pain was still there just less severe. No running. I was getting pretty sad. Maybe I need to rethink my plan. Maybe I need to accept a certain level of pain is going to stay. At this point it really just felt like old times when I ran 2 years ago. Would get a twinge if I twisted the wrong way, heel struck too hard or went up or down the steps. But overall it was better. So let’s accept that. I went for my run today with no expectations. I hoped it would be fine. It felt great immediately and really was only tight later on. I was thrilled.  If I picked up my pace and opened my stride too much I’d feel the little bite but it went away once I closed the stride.  Afterwards, it was sore going up the steps- Ice helped and here I am.

I ran again today. That is enough to restore balance in my life.

I will ride again later. No expectations, extreme caution and open to the trainer if I need to do so.