Philippine Journey- The Preparations and Flight

The journey begins. My entire life I have been waiting to visit, to explore my roots, to connect with my family. I have since connected with nearly most of my family who ironically are no longer in the Philippines with the exception of some cousins. As an adult I have always told myself I would go within the next 5 years. It seemed like a monumental excursion. I wanted to dedicate a lot of time- perhaps a few months to explore.

Life does not always happen that way.

In 2013 I connected with my Filipina sister, Cynthia and brother, Joey from my father’s first family. On Facebook of all places! I have a post about this here. I met my sister, Cynthia once before when I was 10 and never saw her again. It turned out she lived in NJ since I was 10! Since we reconnected we have gotten together several times. My Filipino brother, Joey, the youngest of the three lived in London. Both Cynthia and Joey had another brother, Arthur who passed a few years ago. We talked online and via skype and I instantly felt a connection to Joey. He and my American sister, Allison and I always dreamed of being a triathlon relay team in the Philippines. We wanted to visit. I looked forward to one day meeting him and his beautiful family.

Life changed in an instant on April 5. He passed suddenly while scuba diving in the Philippines. While I never met him, I was saddened. Like my plans of going to the Philippines one day, I planned on going to London to meet him one day.

One day.

Always planned but never did. 

When my sister Cynthia texted me early that Thursday morning about his death, I felt compelled to go to his funeral and support Cynthia. If that was possible. If I could afford the flight and if the family wanted me there. I mentioned to her that I could try to go. She asked her mother who said it was no problem at all. The airfare was surprisingly about 1/3 of what I thought it would be. The rapid planning was intense. It was a journey for me to go alone. Sandwiched between two college visits for Luna that were already booked. The logistics worked perfectly. Everything worked out- flight, timing, cost, time off work, family, etc. The universe declared that it was time for me to go to the Philippines to meet my brother.

So Saturday night after the first college visit in San Francisco, I dropped Luna off at Oakland airport to fly home and I went across to SFO to fly out to Manila a few hours later. I took an Uber and talked the drivers ear off telling him the entire story. As we approached SFO International I saw the planes- Quantas …. Air China and then ….. Philippine Air. That was my plane!!!!!!! I was overwhelmed with emotion. I teared up. It took my breath away. After 43 years this was real. I’m going to the Philippines—and it is NOTHING like I planned in my head my whole life.

I entered the airport and nearly ran like a kid to the departures screen. I couldn’t wait to see my flight in print. The word Manila – I was like a child in a toy store. Manila! Manila! Manila! I jumped up and down and then ran to the ticket counter, smiling the entire time. The worker noticed as he was checking me in. So I told him the partial, condensed story. I was so happy to be going for the first time. He gave me tips and encouraged me to try all of the street food. And yes, Rizal Park is a great stroll. I had this on my plan for day 1. He noticed my return and asked, “only 4 days? That’s unfortunate.” So I quickly told him the remainder of the condensed story. It was bittersweet.

I waited around. I paced. I finally booked the hotel. I had been researching hotels over and over and couldn’t decide. I didn’t know the area, what was safe, what was near transit. I tabbed one very nice 5 star hotel- cheap for Americans. It was way too nice. I didn’t need all of that. But it was in the central transit area, in the same area, near food and looked very safe. I went for it. Nonrefundable. I kept checking to make sure I had everything and if my plan was intact. I heard from my sister, Cynthia who had just arrived. I told her where I was staying and she could stay with me. She then said she has a place booked and I could stay with her – her treat. Bah! Already paid. Oh well. I called James and the kids for a bit. It was good to hear their voices and know that Luna arrived home safe. I reviewed my mental schedule-14 hours on the plane: I will finish my itinerary for the first day there, I had most of it completed. Write a bit. Start on a book my Godfather wrote, maybe watch a movie and plan to go to sleep in 3-4 hours. I packed Benadryl. I knew I’d be up all day upon arrival. I arrived at 5am. So I was going to walk around Manila and play tourist until hotel check in time then head over to the wake in the late afternoon. That said, sleep was imperative.

Time to board. I remained on the phone with James and headed downstairs. I was feeling tearful. I thought about my childhood, of my father’s childhood (what I knew and what I created in my head), all of the imaginary stories in my head of my Filipino brothers and sister, my dreams of the Philippines. I thought of Joey who seemed like a great guy. We would have been great friends. I wish I had gone to London to meet him.

Window seat and the plane is full. Off we went for 14 hours. I slept in 1 hour increments.