Digging Deep

I rode the IMAZ bike course last week in Arizona. It was a really good opportunity to learn what to expect as well as view the swim and run course. I feel comfortable with the swim. The run course looks fun and I was thrilled to see that there is about a mile of dirt/sand path on the course. It will be a really spectator friendly event  with quite a bit to do for my family and friends as we are a block from Arizona State University. The bike course is pretty flat but there will be wind. There is always wind and the slight uphill on the beeline will most likely have a headwind which can feel like a climb. Last year there were record 50mph winds and I heard that some riders were blown off the road. I'm trusting that is a rare occurrence and this year will be normal. I'm also trusting this year's El Nino will have mercy on us.

Training has been relatively easy physically. Some weeks it is harder and I feel it more which creeps up in the form of begging for more sleep. But overall I have to say training for this race has not been crazy physically hard. I am still waiting for my coach to put some insane-OMG-what-are-you-thinking-I-am-NOT-doing-THAT workout on my training plan.  I still have 3.5 weeks though.

Psychologically, it has been easy until now. I started with more confidence than I ever had.  Afterall, I would not have signed up for this if I had any doubt in myself. This is my one and only Ironman- REALLY! I also signed up with a bike finish time goal of 6 hours. When I rode the course I only did 2 loops last week. The plan is to race at a low heart rate so I can continue the run. When I did the practice ride my heart rate  was higher than allowed on race day and my time was awful. If I continued at that pace I would  have a 7:30 bike finish on race day which is not acceptable. I panicked and did not do the 3rd loop. I was ready to cancel this whole race.  Now to be fair, the first loop was in the dark and my headlight stopped working just before daybreak and I was riding on the side of the road. Race day will be in the light and we will ride on the road. It will also be cooler, not 93 degrees. That did not console me because I simply argued that weather could be worse on race day. How's that for optimism!! So I drove home, calculated leg times over and over and realized that even if I finished the bike in 7:30 I still have plenty of time to finish in 17 hours. It is too close though and 17 hours is NOT my goal finish. I need a LOT of time for the run just in case my knee does not cooperate and I have to walk. I spoke with my coach and she is sure I will be fine. We're going to do more long rides in the next 4 weeks and she is sure my confidence will return. 4 more weeks of training then 3 weeks of taper then race day.

I have some work to do mentally- a lot. I cannot enter the race in this headspace. I know this place and I can easily self sabotage especially in the middle of a race. I don't know what happens after racing for 10, 12, 13 hours straight.  All the more reason to enter with a strong mind and heart.

I rode 5 hours on Fiesta Island 2 days later. I discovered that my heart rate zone drops 1 zone when I deep breathe, visualize and relax on the ride while my pace remains the same.  I practiced this every hour on the ride. Okay, I can do this. From this point forward each day I will spend a few minutes deep breathing, visualizing and relaxing. So far so good.

On my long run this week which was really relaxing I visualized everything from relaxation to the race finish. I focused on savoring that moment at the finish line. I focused on my family and friends who without them I would not be able to do this. I think about the births of my children remembering the confidence I had in my body's ability to birth. I had complete trust in myself. I need to dig deep and find that same trust and confidence and hold it close to my heart.

People ask me how things are going. My automatic response it "great..." I am being far more honest this week. I will tell someone I am overwhelmed and scared but I am working through it. It is an exercise in claiming my own feelings and stating my plan. I'm not fishing for compliments or support but it is amazing how kind people are and how that really affects me. I mentioned this to a coworker and interestingly the next day I receive a flood of amazing heartfelt emails cheering me on. I LOVE my job and my coworkers. People I have never even met in my organization sent me emails. This on top of the love I have received from my family and other friends just amazes me. To close, I will share some of the emails I received. Thank you everyone for the support!

"I just wanted to drop you a quick note to let you know I am thinking about you and your Ironman (really IronWOMAN) you will be competing in, in just six short weeks! I am just totally in awe of your strength, dedication and drive through your training. I’ve been following your story and I would love the opportunity to feature you on our blog. I know not only is our staff completely blown away by you but our patients we be able to find their own motivation in your journey. You are a true treasure to use here at NCHS. Get at it!! THE FINISH LINE IS ALMOST IN SITE!!"

"Inspiration! You certainly are an inspiration to others of what is possible.  Thank You for being such a motivating factor for NCHS.Everyone is rooting for You as you have embarked on your training process.  Please know your are in our thoughts and prayers as you prepare and do the hard work."

"Strong Woman! I want to personally thank you for your dedication to our Employee Giving Campaign by dedicating your Ironman competition to our cause.  You are an inspiration and I am humbled to know your story and your incredible perseverance to juggle home, work and training.  I cannot imagine having your drive and energy!  You are an inspiration to all women!"

"Thanks for doing this!  We’re all rooting for you!"

"I just want to take a moment to thank you again for all you do for NCHS and our patients.  I’m truly amazed by the strength and courage you’re showing in undertaking this Ironman challenge…. You really raise the bar and are an inspiration to all of us!  Hang in there and know that you have my support."

"Thinking about you and the challenge you have taken on…"

"GO woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As a woman, a mother and all your other roles I know you have found out many a time that you are way stronger than you ever knew you were…..This is one of those times……Dig deep and know that all of the women in the world are breathing with you as you breathe for them as they face the impossible….."

"I'm so excited for you and that you are getting close for tapering!!!!Just remember to have fun and know that the training is actually harder than the day itself!  I'm so proud and excited for you!!!  When you are in the finish chute...soak up Mike Riley's voice saying "you are an Ironman" :-)Good luck and enjoy!!"

"I work closely with Stacy and she keeps me informed about the amazing journey you are on by doing the Ironman and at the same time inspiring so many people around you. It is also amazing that you have a deep passion for taking care of our patients and making sure they get what they need. Thank you for being a strong voice/leader/inspirer. It’s really amazing to see!"

"Cecily:  I know you are getting close, good luck with your Ironman!"

"May the force be with you!! Thank you for everything you are doing to prepare for the Ironman Competition. I KNOW that you will blow the event away and exceed all your personal expectations. I pray for a safe and fulfilling event. "

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