Ironman Arizona 2015

Brief History

Sept 2007- 1st triathlon, Ukiah sprint distance tri where I learned to swim and run. This is where the Ironman seed was planted. The pipe dream.

March 2012- 3 mentally painful marathons and several half marathons later I tackled my first 70.3 (half Ironman distance) triathlon. Ironman 70.3 California Oceanside. In training I learned to ride clipped in my pedals.  The Ironman seed was starting to grow but remained very, very small.

Summer 2013- Failed attempt at training for marathon #4 to redeem myself mentally. The Ironman seed is growing, I am preparing for this to see if I can change things inside and consider moving forward. My knee issues are getting worse and I am no longer able to ignore my left knee pain. Time to check it out. This becomes a turning point.

Fall 2013- Injured athlete's party and some drinks. A few more drinks later, my two dear friends, Erin and Wendee and I decide we are doing an Ironman in 2016 together. The seed sprouts and grows that night. I am ready.

MRI and 2 orthopedic consults later- verdict in- no more marathons in order to keep the knee functioning so I can WALK later. No surgery will help my running. Discussion with second Ortho Ironman dream. Ok but ONLY one.

2013-2014- Took off 9 months running to rest my knee. Been running continuously since 2007.

2014- Train for Ironman 70.3 Lake Tahoe. Plan to walk. Started beach walking, turned into beach jogging, ran 2x week. Tahoe cancelled due to smoke.

2014- Tri Club San Diego early entry program. I entered just for fun thinking I would never get in. I'm in for Ironman AZ 2015 --- A year earlier than planned.

It's time.

Nov 2014-Feb 2015 - weight loss, strength training. Thanks to boxing! Running more. Running slow but well. Knee is happy.

February 2015-November 2015 – 103+ hours of swimming, 252+ hours of biking and 116+ hours of running plus two weeks of taper later... the day begins.

Goals for IMAZ

Finish 15-16 hours. 

Swim 1:45. 

Bike time 6:30

Run most of the marathon but okay if I have to walk for the knee

Treasure the process.

Race week

My anxiety level was sky high. Panic lurked nearby not quite showing itself but I knew it was there. I was scared. I was also calm. I was afraid of suffering mentally as I have a long track record of doing so on the run. I was afraid of the dark places my head may go in the second half of the run. I was afraid of running in the dark alone and getting spooked. I was afraid of failing. I was afraid of not finishing and letting people down.  I held onto the mantra "There's No Such Word as Can't" and anytime I had self doubt I never ever allowed myself to think or say "I can't." I know that physically I am ready. I somehow built this entire giant network of support. It was incredible. I had an overwhelming amount of support at work. At boxing. At home. From afar. Online. You name it I had support. I was blessed.

My family!

Love these girls! My biggest support
hearing endless training stories at lunch.

My organization, NCHS was behind me
100% and sent me flowers, cards and emails cheering me on!

PLEASE DONATE HERE TO HELP PATIENTS IN NEED!

I carried this with me before the start until I was forced to part with it.

Race Day

I wake up calm arriving at transition with James and set everything up. Eat, drink, stand in bathroom line. See friends.

Coach Julie!

6:40 rolls around, start time is 6:50 but it is rolling and I’ll likely end up in the water at 7 or shortly thereafter. I haven’t changed into my wetsuit. I’m still eating. I didn’t finish going to the bathroom but too late. All of a sudden all of the fear I had been holding bursted like a broken damn. I panicked. I didn’t want to say IT. But it is right there. I say the forbidden to James in tears “I can’t do this. I’m so scared, more so than I have ever been before a race. It’s daybreak! It’s time. I’m scared! ” I’m not afraid of the swim, I am afraid of the whole damn thing. What if I don’t finish? This is bigger than I thought. It’s the real deal. I can’t breathe at all. Full blown panic. I want to hide under the picnic table. I want to escape. I CAN NOT fail. I tell James to get Coach Julie here immediately.

James helps me focus on the task at hand which is getting my wetsuit on. I calm down and move to the starting line.

We all look like we are headed for the slaughter. All faces are intense. Mine is on the verge of tears. I make eye contact with every spectator on my left.  The line is moving faster than I thought. Uh Oh, I may throw up here in front of everyone. “Don’t” I tell myself. ”Just don’t.” Then I see my niece, Valerie in the crowd. Yes!!!! I love this kid (well she’s a grown adult but I’m still her aunt). I run over and hugged her. That’s my escape. I can hop over and we can go get breakfast together. I hug her and realize I may fall part again. I tell myself “you must hold it together. This is your niece, not cool to fall apart in front of her!!!” I say “I’m doing this today!!” Something shifts and I’m ready to do this.

My niece, Valerie.

For about thirty seconds.

I reach the steps- clock says 6:57, I think, I still have 3 minutes. I stop. The volunteer tells me to keep moving forward as there are people behind me. I say “no. I’m not ready.” She reminds me to move forward. I step off to the left side so others can pass. I need to see my family, I need to see my kids. I never saw my kids this morning. I look back at the crowd and search for them or any familiar face for that matter. I search for Willow’s white hair and nothing. Okay, I guess it’s time to go. 

The Swim: 

 

I step down the steps, get in the water and start swimming.

Suddenly an incredible sense of peace washes over me.  All of the anxiety I have held over the past few weeks disappears. The fear is gone. It was awesome. In my head pops the quote “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” I smile. It’s going to be a good day.

My sighting is on point from buoy to buoy. I like to swim close to the buoys to keep a straight line. I don’t mind people around me but today people seemed to zig zag more than other races. One guy zig zagged and passed me and I sooo wanted to swim harder and catch up to draft off of him. I remembered what I read form the 4 keys –Stay in your box. I envisioned a penciled sketched box, just the lines around me that moved with me. That box stayed with me the entire race. Good sighting and then the sun comes out and is shining exactly on my sighting line. I can barely see the kayaks and cannot see any buoys. Okay sight on the bridge and kayakers and hope for the best. Bam! there’s a buoy I can touch on my left, and another. Nice. The sun goes back behind the clouds. I’m pretty sure that will be the last of the sun I see today.

Grace!!! We keep bumping into each other

Half way I look a my watch- 52 minutes. Nice. I’m on track for a 1:45 finish and the plan is to pick up the pace. Maybe I can go under. Someone calls out my name. It’s Grace!!!! I love this girl! It’s her first Ironman too. We hug each other. I tell her “we’re doing this!!!!” We go on and I start to question if that was in fact her or did I just hug someone else thinking it was Grace, oh well. Heading back. I’m having fun and really enjoying the swim. About ¾ of the way, I get cold. Like cold in my core. That concerns me. I haven’t swam in the cold more than an hour. Water is 61 degrees, not bad and I often swam in this temp in the winter but the only 2.4 mile swim I did in the open water the air and water temp was warmer. Okay so I need to swim faster to warm up and its time to pick up the pace.  I pick it up, kick more and the buoys are coming faster and faster. Suddenly my left foot, calf, back of my knee and hamstring seize up. The cramp is excruciating. I can’t move my foot to fix it. If I get a foot or leg cramp swimming I just flex my foot and it goes away. I couldn’t move my foot to flex it. I’ve had plenty of electrolytes and fluids. Ok I have to keep moving. It’s just pain. Kick with the right foot and swim. I did this for one full buoy length and it took forever. I swear that buoy in front never came closer. I think I may have just been floating no matter how hard I tried.  My left leg starts to settle down and I can finally move my foot to flex it. OMG my calf! Ouch. Gentle stretch and I can move and kick again. Okay back in business. I am getting closer. Both feet keep threatening to cramp up so I catch it immediately and flex the feet and sadly slow my pace. I’m happy to be here though and let it go. I pass under the bridges and hear the crowds cheering. I’m nearly there. I smile the rest of the way. I see the clock and calculate the time, oh dear way behind schedule but its ok. I aim for the steps and get out easily. I stand and OMG!!! My calves hurt. I don’t know if I can walk or keep my balance. I’m in a fog. The wetsuit stripper approaches me- it surprised me. I thought there was a shortage of wetsuit strippers so I assumed I would not have one. Wetsuit off and time to go to transition.

There’s my family! I’m thrilled to see James, Liam, Willow and Elisha on the way. I hug them and someone mentions the carpet and tells me to run. So I run to the tent. My legs hurt running but I cant stop until the tent because my family is watching and they told me to run!

T1:

The volunteer met me at the entrance and took care of everything. I was in a pleasant fog but couldn’t make a decision for the life of me. She was awesome. Everything done and I’m ready for the bike. This is what I trained for the most. The bike.

Bike:

Finally on the bike. Thrilled to see my friends and family in the start chute. Even saw Erin and Beatrice spectating further out on the bike. I kept a steady pace. First loop was easy. I kept a better than planned pace going up the Beeline as there was little wind but I also knew it would change. I saw my friend Julie pass me and ask if I was on the second loop. Are you kidding??!! It was great to see her riding strong. We leapfrogged a bit and she eventually dropped me.

I had to go to the bathroom and could not pee on the bike. Tried and tried. Second loop, sprinkles started. Ok, I can pee now, right? The rain will help my brain and I will be less self conscious, right? Nope.  I was getting really uncomfortable- full bowel and bladder. Emergency bathroom stop. Not at all on race plan and took way too long. Later, I spent way too long on the planned special needs stop- indecisive. 18 or so minutes lost. My nutrition and fluid intake however was on point. Solids and gels every 30 min and fluids every 15. My coach would be happy at how much fluids I had because the rest of the ride I pee’d freely quite a bit. The rain gets stronger and I heard there was hail. That was what I heard on my helmet. I saw way off to the left some lightning. This was kind of neat.

Much of the ride I am singing aloud two different Foo Fighters songs. I was hoping a good song would get stuck in my head and it did. My heart rate remained within the correct zone.  I was fairly comfortable but not too comfortable. The rain is stronger at this point. Almost done with loop two and realizing the rain will not be stopping anytime soon. Part of me is thrilled- two years ago I would have been terrified of riding in the rain, this time I was confident and glad I did not have to deal with cars. I was always more afraid of cars if I rode in the rain than myself. I did take all turns REALLY slowly, ridiculously so because well, how silly would it be to spill on a turn on the rain and lose time??!! I decide on the last loop I’m going to pick it up. My heart rate is very low because of the cold and I feel fine. I should go faster because of the rain due to less tire resistance. Not a lot of crosswind so safe. I get to the final turn around and hear my coach yell out at me. Great to hear her voice even though I did not see her.  I was happy to be starting on the last loop. The rain was pouring. Small headwind going up the beeline so I wasn’t as fast as I had hoped. Coming down the beeline I picked up a little more speed than the past two times. The rain started slowing down and I even saw a break in the clouds. I saw my friend Grace again and we chatted a bit. I don’t know how she always recognizes me first but it’s always a nice surprise. I really wanted to hang out and chat but afraid of being disqualified.  I’m headed into town hoping I see my family. I want to tell them all about riding in the rain. It was fun. Seriously it was. I see them in the finish chute and suddenly at the dismount line a volunteer takes my bike- was not expecting that so soon but great!

I see my family and friends and am happy.

OMG! My legs! What happened? Not my normal brick feeling. I think my knees are going to completely give way so I grab the fence in the chute and get it together. It’s all good. I begrudgingly walk across a mud pit to my bag and changing tent in cleats. James sees me walking around he mud and yells out “See should have considered the mountain biking shoes!!”  Took me a while to figure that out.

In the tent I go.

T2:

Wackiest transition in my head ever.

I get in the tent and find a chair. I’m really really cold. It hit me hard and fast. I was shivering and going downhill fast but not realizing it. I fought with taking off my bike shoes. I did not have the dexterity to unbuckle them. I tried and tried but I was shaking too much. I look up and see a volunteer. I ask for a space blanket and she says she will look for one.  (I never see her again) I fought with my shoes some more. Gave up and decided to dump out my bag. I had no idea what to do next. I space out. “Try the helmet,” I think to myself. OMG I cannot unbuckle my helmet. My hands are numb and still too shaky. I look up and ask another volunteer who is about to help the woman next to me for a space blanket. I sheepishly tell her “I’m cold.” She says there are no more. “But I’m so cold.” I think to myself. I’m sad. Try the shoes again and get one off. Try the other with a struggle. I throw it down on the floor out of frustration. Sort of a low energy sad attempt at a temper tantrum. Took off the soaked socks, glad I had a new pair. Wish I had a new top. At least I have dry shorts. I clean my feet and decide to change my pants. I start to stand with my bike shorts partly down (I’m sure that was a pleasant site) and realize I just cleaned my feet and I would stand on mud and grass. What do to? Sit back down? I can’t, no pants. Tried to stand on top of my bike shoes but the buckles dug into my feet and I lost balance. Landed back on the chair. Eww! Screw it. Back to the helmet. After 2 tries I get it off in very low energy tears.  I finally get the changes of cloths done, shoes on and now for the stuff in my pockets. I had a necklace I needed to wear on the run from my sister-in-law, Sherri and family in a box that said “We got your back.” I need that more than anything but there is no way I can open it with my hands. I hold onto it and decide to ask someone on my way out. I am so so so cold. I need to warm up. There seems to be a warm corner in the tent but I don’t know where. I am convinced there is a woodstove in here somewhere but why can’t I see it? I need to sit by the woodstove and I’ll get warm quickly. Where is it? Where is the woodstove?  I am trucking my bag around looking and nothing. I know it’s here. Okay well no more time. I will get warm on the run. I head for the way out and feel a chill from outside. Okay one more chance to find the woodstove. (Yes I truly believed there was a woodstove in there.) Still shivering. I ask the volunteer to put on my necklace and she helps me. I tell her I’m cold and she offers me chicken broth. I want to cry inside even more- I’m vegan. Any hot water? No. I step outside and stare off. It’s too cold. I can’t do this. A volunteer sees me and asks if I’m ok. I tell her I’m so cold. She tells me I can get a space blanket right next to me at the medical tent. Where? There! She points. Where? I’m not even looking. She says she will walk me over. “I can have a space blanket?” I ask. “Of course you can.” I’m worried about taking one from the medical tent without actually going in.  She puts it on me and it’s time to run.

Run:

I am hoping to warm up but also very confused. I’m trying to maneuver the space blanket to maximize warmth not just look like a super hero cape. My HR is high and my pace is practically a slow walk. I can’t breathe. It’s just like Tahoe. Ok I know there is no altitude. Am I anxious? This is going to be a horrible run. I’m still cold.

I see Luna and Melissa and am so happy to see them. I hug them and Luna asks how I am. I tell her I’m really cold. She asks me,  ”do you want my jacket?” I truly do not understand the question.  What? She repeats and tells me I can take it.  My brain seriously goes blank. Okay what was the question? Ah yes the jacket. I am thinking if I take it I can get disqualified and even more importantly I’m sure it will rain again and she needs the jacket to stay warm. “No thank you.” I tell her. I was so glad to see her.

Time to keep moving. Still short of breath and cold. I walk more to get my HR down. Damn, not how I wanted my run. It was like this for 3 miles then I play the game, run slowly to the next light, the next sign and always smile at the spectators. They are cold and wet and here cheering us on, I owe them a smile.

It worked.

My heart rate was in the acceptable zone and I continued to run steady. I feel better, warm and clear. I even took off the space blanket and kept it on my waist.

Sunset on the other side of the lake. I’ve been waiting for this moment. In the last few weeks when the sun would set I would visualize a combination of tucking myself in for the night of the Ironman run and running steady. Here we are. I smile. As the miles ticked away I saw friends on the course and high fived them. The rain started again at around mile 9. I was a little worried as this was pretty early on in my mileage and I did not want to get cold again. I had hoped to toss away my space blanket but decided to keep it just in case the rain got worse. It was just a sprinkle.

1^st Curry hill. It’s dark. It’s beautiful with the juxtaposition of the rock, nature and lights of Tempe in the distance. Wow. And look there’s James! Awesome! I feel great. Really good mentally. I’ve been running continuously except for the aid station and uphills.  It’s mile 10. Willow is there too and I’m thrilled to hug them both. James tells me the kids have miso soup near the 25mile marker (about mile 12). Perfect! I run down the hill and see Erin and Beatrice. I run over to hug them too. This is awesome. I feel good. I see more friends along the way. Cross over the bridge to mile 12-ish and there are the kids. I hug them and am so happy to see them. I really miss them. Liam asks how I am feeling and if I wanted him to run with me. I tell him I feel REALLY good and solid and would love for him to run of he wanted to. We jog with the miso soup which is soooo good. I go on and he stays back with the girls.

I see the second lap turn. I took a picture of this when I arrived in Tempe and thought I will be happy when I get to go straight at the Finish lane. Hey, I’m starting the final lap. I feel just as good as I did at mile 5. I also know this may all change in the next half but somehow I doubt it. The next part is much better than when I ran here the first 3 miles. Way better! I stop at special needs to grab my thermal. I don’t need it but I’d like to take it home. I have been nauseas the whole time and eating and drinking has been hard. I gave up eating real solids like the clif bar in my pocket and stuck with gels on the course and fluids. So I spend a long time at special needs trying to decide if I even need my second half of nutrition. Skip it. I’ll continue with course gels.  My pockets are too full now. I see my friend Elaine on the run. It was good to see her.

Mile 17- the furthest I have run this season. I smile and take pride in it and am grateful that I STILL FEEL SOLID MENTALLY. I’m fully present. I also prepare that the next few miles may change and the wall may surprise me and if it does I will roll with it. I have this conversation with myself and tell myself it will all be ok and I will still finish.

The wall never comes.

Ever.

I feel just as solid as mile 5, 10 and 17.

I see Marcus heading back. He only has a few miles left. I am so thrilled for him. It is also his first Ironman and he worked hard for this. I high five him and tell him to go get his Ironman.

Mile 20- I am still solid and happy. I am starting to feel pain form the neck down. A lot of pain. But it’s just normal marathon pain I tell myself. No big deal and yes your knee hurts a bit (probably 2/10 on the pain scale) but is intermittent. I am thrilled though and tell myself “I am running another f-ing marathon! I’m not suffering mentally. My knee is fine. I’ve never run this much in any of my marathons. I’m doing this!!” OMG my hips hurt, my butt hurts, my feet hurt. It’s al good. Seriously it is. I only have a 10K left. I have been at this for over 14 hours and only a tiny fraction left. That’s nothing.

I’m still nauseous and the whole time I’ve made several stops to pee. I’m well hydrated. I try a vanilla bean gel in hopes that it will settle my gut and it makes me gag over the trash can. I force it down gagging the entire time. I am committed to keeping the nutrition and hydration. Still not suffering mentally. Nausea is no fun but Hey! I’m doing an Ironman.

Mile 23- Second and final Curry Hill- I hope I see James again but I’m also fine if I don’t because I only have a 5K left! Yay! There is Liam!! He asks how I am feeling and if I need help. I tell him I feel just as good as when I saw him last. I love this kid. He says Dad is on the downhill. We see him and he is on the phone with Byron. Excellent! I get to talk with Byron. Everything is complete. All 3 of my kids are in this with me. It was great to hear his voice. I tell him I’m at mile 23 and I feel good. He tells me I only have 5K left! He has run 2 marathons and knows how hard they are.

This time I walk down the hill. The knees aren’t having it. It’s fine. OMG I have to pee --- again! Last stop.

I see Erin and Beatrice again. They are so consistent. Erin’s presence is so solid and calming.

I am running in the same place where Marcus ran when I saw him. I’m going o get MY Ironman now!!! I can hear Mike Reilly across the lake announcing who is an Ironman. I wonder how he will say mine. “You are an Ironman. Or YOU. Are. An. Ironman?” I hope he pronounces Cecily correctly. I did send him a message with a pronunciation and he said he got it.

Mile 25- Yes! The most I have run since my last marathon 5 years ago. And guess who is not suffering? I tap the sign and giggle. I am close, really close. And suddenly the pitch in the road annoys the heck out of me. I move all over the road to find a totally flat spot and fortunately I have 2 lanes to myself. I see the Tempe Center for the Arts and snap out of the negativity. Here comes the underpass. I start to well up. I’m going to be an Ironman in a matter of minutes.

I realize I never suffered. It was easy- too easy. Maybe I didn’t work hard enough. So I decide to run faster to the turn. Um, no!!! Say the knees. They start to give way and I lose balance. I’m going to fall. I catch myself and stay up. I guess I’m not sprinting. Let’s stay where I was before. I see the road markings where the 2^nd lap lane and finish lane are. If I had a camera I would have taken another picture. I pause and take it all in. I’m going on the finish side.

Then people all around me are telling me “Congratulations! You have less than 0.2miles to go!” I am so happy and smiling.

At the turn stands James and Liam exactly where I hoped they would be. The pain in my body is gone (Lisa Serrano mentions this in her race report from last year and she is so right). I hug my family and tell them that medal I am about to get is theirs too for all their sacrifices and support. I give them my jacket and headlamp.

I turn and see the bright lights. It’s time. I’m not sure I want this to be over yet. At the same time everything I ever wanted is feet away. On the opposite of James I see Willow and Elisha. I run over to hug them.

It’s time now.

I run through and can barely hear anything. I hear bits and pieces. But I hear clearly:

“Cecily… (correctly pronounced)

“You Are ...."

I stop to take it all in and savor the final word.

“An Ironman!”

Yes!!!

And I cross the finish line.   

There are Luna and Melissa taking pictures. I run over to hug them and show them my medal.

Holy shit! I’m an Ironman. I did this!

What’s more is I RAN THE MARATHON and I was happy the entire marathon. I made it count and never suffered on the run. Finally redeeming the marathon meant everything to me, just as much as becoming an Ironman.

THANK YOU Melissa Atherton!!!
This girl took many of these pictures. She is a talented photographer and overall awesome to have around!